Babysitting Batman
by DCgirl
Summary: The grandkids run rampant through WayneTech. Holy Chaos Batman! Popping up to ask if anyone wants this updated? Let me know.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: *hangs head* for once I cannot blame the plot bunnies. *brightens* The devil made me do it! :-D . Right. Anyways, I do not own any of the Batman characters except James and Haley. And the paper clip. Enjoy!  
  
BABYSITTING BATMAN Chap 1.  
  
Laughter wafted through the room. Bruce Wayne looked up from where he was sitting at his desk, feeling a little annoyed at being interrupted on the phone. "Hold on Lucius." Setting the phone on the desk for a moment, he quickly stepped around the mahogany structure and reached the door in a few short strides, throwing it open. He was about to open his mouth when he was greeted by another round of laughter. Stopping for a second he surveyed the scene and found that he couldn't help the small quirk in the corner of his mouth.  
  
His nine and a half year old grandson, James Grayson, was leaning casually against his secretary's desk. One arm rested on the counter, as he regaled the staff surrounding him, with some type of joke. The office staff were obviously of the opinion that Jymmy would be a heartbreaker.  
  
James continued to talk animatedly, his dual colored eyes lit up with excitement, as he flashed the women of the group with a gleaming white smile. Yup. Definitely a heartbreaker. Wonder where he learned that move, Bruce thought wryly.  
  
Letting his gaze drift around the crowd, he noticed his granddaughter Haley, all of the age of five, sitting atop the counter playing backup and winning just as many loyal fans with her precocious ways. Her black hair set off her mischievous green eyes and gave the definite impression of one who knew she had the other's wrapped around her little pinky.  
  
Not for the first time (and probably not for the last time) Bruce marveled at how well his grandchildren could maneuver themselves into people's good graces. Though he had to admit, he was almost positive they'd learned it from Dick, since he seemed to remember that exact same expression on Dick's face when he was younger.  
  
Bruce smiled and closed the door silently. They'd be ok for another few moments. His phone call was almost done, and they'd be on their way again. Picking up the phone he heard Lucius Fox asking if everything was ok. Well there were no terrorists or kidnappers or crazed villains at the moment so he said, "Sorry about that Lucius...go ahead, you were saying?" as leaned back in his chair and listened to Lucius prattle on about the latest meeting in Japan.  
  
His mind began to wander and he thought back to earlier this morning feeling a twinge of guilt for dragging the kids here on a Saturday. Dick and Barbara had needed some time alone, what with saving the world, taking care of the kids, and not to mention the day jobs. So after dutifully agreeing to fulfill his role as 'Granpa Bruce' for the weekend, (a role he loved but rarely had the time or skills for 24 hour coverage) and seeing Dick and Babs off, he remembered that Alfred was in England visiting relatives. Tim and the others were busy, and that invariably left him alone. With children.  
  
It had actually started off pretty well. Breakfast at O'Shaunsey's (the kids' choice) had been uneventful, deciding instead that dining out for breakfast would be safer for all involved. They were all set to go to the park from there, when Bruce was called into the office. It had been an hour now and he had to admit the kids' were being very patient, not to mention extremely good, for not getting into trouble.  
  
"Well Wayne," he thought to himself, "They ARE growing up."  
  
Meanwhile outside the office, the staff had started to disperse, going about their regular office duties leaving Haley and Jymmy to stand (or sit in Haley's case) around outside Bruce's office.  
  
"Why don't we go inside and wait with Gran'pa?" Haley suggested.  
  
James shook his head, "Nah. He's on the phone. We don't want to disturb him do we?"  
  
Haley sighed and propped her chin up with her hands, the elbows resting on her knees. "I guess not" she admitted, though the bored tone said she thought otherwise. "So what do we do? I'm bored."  
  
James crossed the short walkway to the chairs on the other side and flopped down on one of them. He shrugged. "I don't know. Find something to do I guess."  
  
"Like what?" Haley persisted.  
  
Jymmy sighed with the infinite patience of an older brother, "I guess we could explore a little bit."  
  
Haley's face lit up and she grinned, jumping off the counter and nearly 4 feet down to the floor with practiced ease.  
  
James couldn't help grinning as his imagination kicked in. An Adventure! Springing up from the chair he reached out and grabbed Haley's small hand. Together they raced down the hallway for the elevator, unseen and unnoticed by the workers walking by in a hurry. "This," he thought, as the elevator doors closed "Was gonna be great."  
  
Bruce actually smiled as he strode out of the office, letting the heavy wooden doors close behind him as he draped his coat over his arm. He gave the secretary a winning smile (nothing like the one James had earlier, he told himself) and told her to have a good day. He looked around the room then frowned. He looked again. He felt a slight tension in his head as he turned back to the secretary. "Uh...Maggie, have you seen the children?"  
  
Maggie looked up from some paperwork seemingly a little frazzled. "Oh, they're sitting right over...there." Seeing that the chairs were empty she gave a shake of her head. "I don't understand. They were there a moment ago..."  
  
Definitely a headache. Bruce sighed as he rubbed his temples, "Call security. Have them search the building." He turned on his heel and stalked towards the elevator. The moment the doors slid open he was inside jabbing at the button for the floor security was on. Dick was going to kill him.  
  
Two raven heads popped through the doorway.  
  
"What IS this place?"  
  
James surveyed the small room, about the size a large walk in closet with built in shelves, boxes and an industrial printer/copier machine. "Looks like some sort of supply closet." Was the professional opinion.  
  
"Ohhh." Haley did her best to nod and look as if she knew exactly what James was talking about. She walked into the room after James, looking up and down the tall columns on the shelves. She copied Jamie's actions and opened one of the boxes at eye level. Her nose scrunched in confusion. "It's paper."  
  
"Of course it's paper. It's a supply. That's why they call it a supply office." James turned to face his sister holding a smaller box that he'd retrieved from the larger box he'd gone through. "See? This one's got pens. The other's got paper clips. It's where they keep all the stuff they need in case they run out."  
  
Haley looked up at him in surprise with wide green eyes, "They run out?"  
  
"Sure they do. There's no such thing as the office fairy ya know." James returned the box to it's original place, and continued his quest.  
  
Haley's attention however was directed at the behemoth of a machine against the far wall. Walking over to it she leaned way up on tip toe and saw a bunch of buttons. It looked an awful lot like Mommy's computers. The one's she wasn't allowed to touch anymore. She wondered what would happen if she pressed one. She looked over at her brother. He was busy climbing the shelf to a box higher up. Coast was clear, it was now or never. She reached a small finger up and hit a few buttons. Nothing happened. She saw the glowing green button. Maybe that one would boot it up. Like mom's did. Again she reached up, this time pressing the green button.  
  
There was a whirring sound as the machine came to life with a sudden flash of light.  
  
Jame's head whipped around and he nearly fell off the shelf, managing to grab onto it at the last second. Scrambling down he rushed to Haley's side, "What did you do?"  
  
Haley was backing away a little bit now. The machine was starting to print out paper now. "I don't know. I just touched the button." James was looking for a way to turn it off when there was a horrible crunching sound. Both kids looked in the direction of the sound. It was coming from the other end of the copier. Looking around the edge they noticed that the port where the paper came out wasn't doing anything. Leaning over James could see a piece of paper jammed in the gears.  
  
He looked at Haley. Haley looked a little worried and generally helpless. He looked back at the machine. His mind made up, he reached in to grab the paper and yank it out.  
  
It wouldn't budge. Jymmy tugged harder. He could feel it starting to rip so he changed his grip and PULLED.  
  
THAT was a mistake.  
  
The moment the paper came free chaos reigned. The machine started spitting paper out everywhere, the copier's light bar started swinging back and forth crazily and before long the floor was covered with paper and the air was littered with floating pieces.  
  
Haley ducked for cover. James did the same only he started crawling around near the back of the printer/copier his hand feeling along the wall. AHA! The next moment there was silence. A few pieces of paper still fell but the machine was stilled. In his hands Jymmy held the plug.  
  
Both of them looked at the machine. Then the room. Then they looked straight at each other. James was the first to speak, "Let's...NOT...tell Grandpa about this."  
  
Haley nodded vigorously and the next few seconds were spent wading out of the supply room and carefully shutting the door.  
  
Bruce Wayne was a rich man. At the moment he was an annoyed man. He glared at the security officer seated at the console in front of him, trying to do his best to intimidate the man. "What do you mean you can't find them?"  
  
The man swallowed hard. "Sir...uh...we got search parties making their way down from the top floor...but uh...we don't see them anywhere on camera."  
  
Bruce briefly wondered what he'd done in this life to deserve this. Secondly he wondered who had hired this man. "Well tell the others to move faster." He snapped. No, said the voice in the back of his mind, Dick was NOT going to like this.  
  
Next chap.....The PAPER CLIP! *cue Dragnet-Like music* 


	2. The Evil Paper Clip!

SPORADIC DISCLAIMER: Do I look rich? No. Do I own DC comics? No. Do I wish I did? HECK YEAH! Do I own Jymmy and Haley? Yup. Can anyone play with them? Why? I mean—sure.  
  
Babysitting Batman Chapter 2—The Evil Paper Clip!!  
  
James was being sneaky. Verrry sneaky. The office room on the floor below the boardroom (and Gran'pa Bruce's office) was all aflutter with the hardworking employees of WayneTech. It was no surprise that they didn't notice the two black haired tops, and eyes that glanced over the secretary's desk first one way. Then the other.  
  
One pair of eyes narrowed and shot over to the green eyes beside him. "Do you MIND?" Jymmy hissed.  
  
The green eyes suddenly looked downcast as Haley abruptly stopped humming 'Pop goes the weasel'. "Sorry." She whispered back.  
  
Slowly the eyes, and the black curls following, slid down from view. Having surveyed their domain, the two young hero's (antagonists...tomato/tomahto depends on your pov) crept their way past the rows of busy cubicles. Finding a fairly empty section of desks (abandoned for the coffee break room) the grandchildren of the famous Dark Knight scattered about to inspect various office tools. They strayed a notable distance from the copier. No need to dredge up unpleasant memories.  
  
James found himself poking and perusing the wall inlaid with cubby's. Curiously it seemed to function as some sort of mailroom. Glancing at the taped label in the middle, at adult eye level it would appear to be an 'inbox/outbox' Whatever that was.  
  
Unwatched for the moment, Haley slid into the swivel chair at one of the desks. She wasn't really allowed to touch computers anymore, at least not without adult supervision. Well, Jamie was Robin. He counted as an adult. Sorta.  
  
Moving a hand over to the mouse she couldn't help but grin to herself. This wasn't so hard. Grownups overreact to everything. The cursor moved over a desktop icon. Clicking on it she was pleasantly delighted when a word processor program started, prompting a small moving paper clip to pop up on the screen.  
  
Haley giggled. It's eyes were big and cartoony. Faster (more fluidly) than most five year olds did, she read the tagline that came with her new friend. "Hi! I'm Clickit your Doors Word Processor mascot! Please click a topic you would like to learn"  
  
Below the bubble she saw a list of choices:  
  
Learn how to set passwords Learn how to write a letter Learn how to explore Doors Word  
  
Not entirely interested in the others, Haley clicked the first one.  
  
Behind her, James had also lost interest in the cubby's. Instead he was busy going through the file drawers. Closing one of the drawers he saw (and winced) as the vibration caused a box of paperclips to fall off the cabinet. Guess he should clean em up. Last thing they needed was someone telling Grandpa about this. Especially once he found out about the copier. And he WOULD find out. He ALWAYS found out. He had mom on his side.  
  
Truly unfair, he thought as he bent down to pick up the metal clips.  
  
His head jerked up suddenly as he heard someone shout across the room, "HEY! What happened to the computers?"  
  
The room was filled with buzzing questions, and all around people were standing up and walking around. Straightening James frowned deep in thought. A horrible thought occurred to him and he whirled around.  
  
Haley was standing right behind him, looking as contrite as a puppy who just ate a slipper. "It's not my fault." Was the first thing she said. Her green eyes were wide as she looked up at her big brother for help. "Clickit made me do it."  
  
James couldn't help it as he slapped a hand over his eyes and gave the sigh of long suffering brothers. "Who is Clickit?" He risked a peek through his fingers to glare at his sister.  
  
Haley pointed at the computer behind her. "The Evil Paper Clip." She stated matter of factly.  
  
Disbelief could not be hidden from his features. Stepping past the lowly first grader, James made his way to the console to see if the damage was irreparable.  
  
He didn't get two steps however, before there was a yelp behind him. Turning quickly he expected to see some angry adult hovering in front of the only exit from the cubicle. If only that had been what happened.  
  
Instead, he turned just in time to see the office mail dude's feet sliding out from under him. The mail bag/cart contraption took off down the narrow hallway and smashed into some poor lady. A stack of papers went flying overhead. The coffee mug that had been resting on top of that stack was catapulted into the unsuspecting payroll officers lap, emptying it's hot contents all over. The poor man stood up so fast he knocked his chair over, which knocked over the water cooler that was behind him and so it went all the way around.  
  
It was like a domino effect. James and Haley could hear the various indignant yelps of surprise and occasional crashes even as papers went flying above the cubicles. Haley's mouth was a perfect o as she watched the catastrophe unfold.  
  
When the last 'domino' had fallen, leaving the deli delivery guy falling out the emergency stairway, James had recovered enough presence of mind to step forward. Kneeling beside the K.O.'d mail dude he retrieved a small object from the floor and walked back over to his sister, holding it up for her to see. In his hand...was a paper clip. Green eyes locked on mismatched blue/green ones. James was the first to speak. "That's one evil paper clip."  
  
They looked from each other to the paper clip. Then back at each other. Later it, in the aftermath, it would come as no surprise that no one saw the young heirs of the Wayne fortune beating a hasty exit to the elevators.  
  
Next Chapter: CASSANDRA! -- Bruce Calls in the Big guns! 


End file.
